For those of you unfamiliar with the reference
which you should be ashamed of
[prententious horse music noises]
I was planning on writing something clever for this.
ugh.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
I promise this blag will be about clever and cool things in the future, but right now I need to vent some.
Some whining about things after the break.
we are now after the break.
it is where we are.
God, I'm hungry.
So there was a lot fewer people than usual at work today, which was weird enough, but everything kept breaking. Half of the parts I was working on were warped for no reason, and we had to go back and add an entire step to the process.
then, when I get home, turns out I owe $7.000 more in student loans than I thought, because DICKS DICKS DICKS ASS DICKS.
I wouldn't be quite as mad if part of that responsibility didn't lie on my shortcomings. between the drinking and everything else, I was not only sabotaging my grades, but in what we'll call the "Blackout" period (and let's not talk about it any more than that, please) I wasted some $3-5000 of an inheritance on in some cases I don't even know what, in about two months or less. Sobering up means I'm being super careful about spending now (or in the case of EQLA, admitting that I'm spending a lot, but also doing it for my sanity), but it's still hard not to kick myself around for it.
past is the past though. Can't get too caught in it.
My depression is taking stabs at me despite the fact I'm actually doing better than I have been in years, and that dissociative surreality thing I get sometimes is getting bent into something unpleasant and dark.
but at the same time, I can just go out and draw and listen to Amnesiac and eat junk food. which I will do. might post some sketches later.
the secret phrase that pays is "Mango." Scream it at your neighbor's dog.
