So through a long (but ultimately boring and eventful) series of events, I got a new guitar today.
THE POST IN WHICH HEAVY GAUGE'S REAL-WORLD ALTER EGO BLATHERS ON ABOUT HIS NEW GUITAR IN THE POST BELOW.
after the break, because I like to keep things neat.
It'd be more interesting, I suppose, to go through why I took this opportunity to add to the pile of instruments in my family's home, but particularly to the part of the pile that's mine and mine alone.
That collection started a long time ago (approaching a decade, really) with this guy:
Obviously, he didn't look like this to start.
More on that later.
This was an HSS Squier Stratocaster. for those of you not in the know about guitars, here's a quick rundown:
- Squiers are shit.
- They are also dirt cheap, so for a beginner guitar, it's not that bad a choice.
- HSS refers to the pickup layout. H is for humbucker, in the bridge position, and S is for single-coil, in the middle and neck positions.
- The Stratocaster is one of the two most iconic guitars of all time, the other being the Les Paul. Fender made the Stratocaster, Gibson made the Les Paul.
- This began one of the longest-standing instrument debates of all time. endless amounts of artist have started on one, then permanently switched to the other.
- Fender owns Squier, and puts out low-quality, low-price versions of their guitars through them.
- Gibson does a similar thing with Epiphone, but comparing Epi to Squier isn't fair to Epiphone at all. They actually have tiers in terms of quality, produce fun, high quality reissues (Epiphone Casinos were the weapon of choice for John, Paul and George in the Beatles, and the wilshire is tons of fun) and actually make smart decisions, which puts them wayyyy ahead of their parent company. Gibson has made nothing but terrible decisions in the past couple of years that are not only alienating players, but vendors and company employees, too.
- I can't stand Les Pauls. The irony of this in relation to my near-psychotic obsession with Jimmy Page is not lost on me.
- This guitar has a tremolo unit in it, like almost all modern fender strats. I honestly am not fond of them. I am very anal about tuning stability, and short of a floyd rose sort of set-up, that doesn't exist in guitars with whammy bars.
- Squiers are total shit.
The pickup you see above is screwed into the body, (which is not how they usually are attached, and I'm pretty sure any decent luthier would be frothing at the mouth over my handiwork) was acquired in Russia, and as far as I can tell, completely one-of-a-kind. At one point, there was actually a plan to fill most of the empty space in that guitar with concrete, which didn't pan out. It wasn't that it was a bad idea--the logistics of supplies, time, and preparation became too much of a headache. so, because those gaps were pissing me off, and I was becoming increasingly frustrated with the thing as a whole, I covered the whole thing in duct tape.
IT'S ALLLIIIIVE
Amazingly, the duct-tape had little to no noticeable effect on the tone or sustain of the guitar. still, the neck was in poor shape, and I knew time was limited.
so I purchased the guitar I call Fenrir. He'll get a post all to his own later on (probably a lot of them, real talk), but for the sake of reference here he is:
In all its modified glory.
Turned out to be a good thing to get him when I did. Not to long afterwards, the neck on "Igor" caved. Hard. For the closest example of what happened, grab a spoon out of the nearest drawer and bend it near the actual dish part of it. sort of like that. Squiers aren't known for durability (or being anything other than trash), but I suspect that novice mistakes might have led to it as well.
SO WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE NEW GUITAR?
I was just getting to that, jerk. It boils down to this: I wanted a backup guitar, so that Fenrir can stay in a safe place. should I ever end up going out for jams or shows or whatever, I don't want to take Fenrir with me, as the amount of work I've put into him, how much he initially cost, and the emotional attachment I have to him are all astronomical. With Igor down for the count, I needed something of decent quality, and when the opportunity appeared (for decently cheap) I leapt on it.
New whipping boy.
It's A Fender Pawn Shop Series '51.
basically Fender did a bunch of takes on the oddities that have turned up in pawn shops over the years---prototypes that snuck out of the factories in the early days, the crazy mods people made to different models, and general weird stuff. they're not making these anymore, so finding it was a treat. plus, the humbucker (a fender enforcer) is pretty buckin' raw. (SEE, IT'S A HUMBUCKER/HORSE PUN I'M SO CLEVER AGAHGAGHAGH)
Probably going to do rundown posts of my guitars at some point, so stay tuned.
The play-to-pray phrase of the day is "Malfeasance." Whisper it into your microwave when everyone is looking.
